OPEN SESSION OF THE UN SECURITY COUNCIL Moon: Greetings cockroaches, I mean, members. Gaddafi: Mortein. Bring me Mortein! Moon: Please be quiet, Gaddafi. In the same way that not all reporters are terrorists, nor are all all UN Security Council members cockroaches. Jintao: Is right! Obama: Too right, dude Cameron: Top a tha morning to ya lads! Rebel: I hate cockroaches too Gaddafi. We seem to have a definitional problem. Mendev: Vodka. Bring me vodka. Sarkovy: Le top de la morning, des gentlemens Moon: Speak English you wanker Sarkovy: [mutter, mutter] Moon: We are gathered here today to watch a glorious tank charge. Wait, sorry. I keep getting peace and war confused. Ok. Peace. Peace. Gaddafi, would you like to start discussions? Gaddafi: I am the legitimate dictator, I mean, revolutionary despot, I mean whatever dude, I'm in charge of Libya and that's that. Rebel: Isn't it funny? We seem to have two people calling themselves revolutaries. Surely being a revolutionary means that you have popular support? What were the results of the last elections anyway? Gaddafi: I'm the real one. Rebel: No me. Gaddafi: Me, me, me, infinity. Rebel: Nuts to that. Your head's going to be on a pike soon. Gaddafi: Yeah? You and whose army? Rebel: The people's army. Gaddafi: You mean like the People's Liberation Army of China that slaughtered children singing songs in Tiananmen Square in 1989? Rebel: No. A real army. One that protects the people instead of being that in name only as a cruel joke to the somewhat-enslaved population. Gaddafi: Yeah, but the Chinese are too stupid for democracy. Democracy will never work in China. Rebel: That's what they said about Taiwan too. It seems that education gives a civilized society, then you can vote and it actually works! Gaddafi: Well, I did give the Libyan people a decent education, so I guess this is the inevitable result. Rebel: Look. What if I was to give you $20 million worth of Mortein? This is the top notch stuff from Australia. Super strength. Limited edition. And a tent in Saudi Arabia. A really really big tent. And as many camels as you can drive/have sex with as you like. Gaddafi: Deal.