::FREE ACCOMMODATION IN SYDNEY::

For members of the Mu'tazilah faith (as defined in here), there is an exciting accommodation offer about to start. I (Paul) am about to buy my own property, and will make the master bedroom (with ensuite) available for use by guests. You will have the master bedroom so that you can have privacy and be comfortable. The room will be completely free of charge, and you are just expected to leave it in the same condition you found it in, for the next person. I'll take care of washing the sheets though, so you don't need to worry about whether the instruction manual for the washing machine is in Japanese etc.

There is a catch though. You need to be able to convince me via online chat that you really are a member of the Mu'tazilah religion, and would thus not steal my property while you are a guest in my house. I will do my best to determine if you are a genuine devotee. E.g. if you have publicly written to your government requesting that your military is deployed to protect the rights of the Syrian freedom fighters. More details will be provided as soon as possible. Expected availability is in the last half of 2012 (I won't say "later in winter" because my target audience includes northern hemispherans who will be very confused - hint, it's currently (2012-06-29) winter and my feet are fucking freezing at the moment). You will also need to join God's Army. Oh, you will also need to take the shahada at the Auburn Gallipoli mosque, to more formally register your new faith, and attend at least one prayer. If you're worried about going into a real (and alien) mosque, don't be. These people are the friendliest and most accepting people I have ever met. And I'll be there with you.

There are also expected to be "scholarships" (paid airfare for the poor), and if there is a lot of demand for the room, it will be whittled down to the bravest and most compassionate. For women, the bravest and most compassionate are prostitutes who have the scariest job in the world - sex with strangers - who provide an outlet for lonely and/or ugly men. Or for men who are being enslaved by their partner by withdrawal of sex, and don't want to break the family unit to escape slavery. For men, it is soldiers who have become disabled, like Mohammed Fathi Bayou but hold opinions like this. The disabled soldiers will not be required to convert to Mu'tazilah, as they have paid their dues in blood, quite literally.

P.S. When I actually went to find accommodation that had wheelchair access, I found out that there's virtually nothing available in Auburn. Even ground floor units have stairs. There are more options when there is lift access, but lifts increase the strata levy significantly and are prone to breakdown. So I'll have to abandon wheelchair access for now.

P.P.S. Also, getting a second bathroom is very difficult, as it requires switching from a $270k-$300k range of old-style units, to a $350k-$400k new-style unit. So again, for the short-term, it will be necessary to share the bathroom.

P.P.P.S. The Sydney scheme will be expensive and not many people will be able to make it. So there will be another scheme too. It seems that many many people are very bad money managers (maybe genetically). Not just in poor countries like the Philippines, but also in the West. The statement "It's not that fucking simple" is non-cognitive for someone like me who perpetually saves for a rainy day and doesn't believe that people need exactly 100% of their income exactly 100% of the time, and 99% would be fatal for them. The solution I have come up with this is to run a "bank for poor people" or "angel bank". The way it works is that when a desperate, bad money-managing Filipino has run out of options and is willing to sell their mobile phone for a measley few dollars, sell their body for unprotected sex, sell their children, sell their jewellery well below value, then they are instead given a lifeline. They can borrow 4000 PHP from a "guardian angel". There will be a 5-step process associated with this:
1. Desperate Filipino borrows up to a maximum of 4000 PHP from a "Guardian Angel".
2. Filipino is required to pay this back in full. If they ever want to get another 4000 PHP loan, they must have paid this back. It is thus in their interests to pay it back ASAP, to get their lifeline back.
3. Filipino saves 4000 PHP of their own so that they no longer need a Guardian Angel.
4. Filipino saves another 4000 PHP so that they can be a Guardian Angel for someone else themselves, allowing the original Guardian Angel to retire if he/she wishes.
5. Filipino saves yet another 4000 PHP so that they can be a Guardian Angel for a second person, allowing the good deed to explode exponentially.